clientsfromhell.netClients From Hell - Horror stories from freelancers

HOME PODCAST SUBMIT STORY Menu HOME PODCAST Submit a Story STORY TYPES Most Popular Images Design Disasters Absurd Requests CLIENT TYPES Dunces Criminals Deadbeats Racists Homophobes Sexist Frenemies Cryptic Ingrates Chaotic Good PODCAST Providing insights into survival and exploring the future of the self-employed. 4.7 393,300 downloads ARCHIVE Are you single? Streamer messaging me on instagram. Client: Hey I see you draw. Do you make twitch emotes? Me: Yes I do. Client: Dope! Could you make me some? Me: Sure thing. Let me know your ideas. Client: Sweet. I'm not sure yet, still thinking ahahah. Me: No problem at all. Client: BTW are you single? :p Credit where credit is due: is there any clearer way to signal "I'm not going to pay you, and I'm also going to be a nightmare"? I ended up blocking them. B Y E Sep 17, 2020 0 Clients From Hell Unsupported browser, unsupportive client The project my company is working on relies on UnityWebGL to run (though it was previously a Windows Standalone application). Client: We’d like this to run in I nternet Explorer 11 or Firefox. Me: (after some testing ) IE won’t load it, but Firefox works great. Client: Why? You can’t get it to work on IE at all? Me: It seems UnityWebGL doesn’t work in IE11. From the site, “IE11 is not a supported browser. It is only listed in this compatibility table for completeness.” Client: Can IE11 run this if it’s hosted on the machine and run through IE? Me: no, IE can’t support UnityWebGL player at all. IE11 is not a supported browser. Client: Understood. Client: (5 seconds later) Try it anyway for sh*ts and gigs. Me: It errored, with the message "Please note that your browser is not currently supported for this Unity WebGL content. Try installing Firefox, or press Ok if you wish to continue anyway.“ Client: …and? Did you click ok? Me: Yes, I clicked it and it errored out. Because IE11 isn’t a supported browser. Client: Clearly you’re doing something wrong. If it works in Firefox, it will work in IE11. Ever had a client not believe the truth? Let us know ! Sep 16, 2020 0 Kyle Carpenter Snippy Tool I was working on an animation project for a client. Client: We need to have a stronger design for this character, something that really sells this project and company. Me: Alright, that sounds fair, the design does need updating. Client : Look around for inspiration. Are you familiar with stuff like South park, Simpsons, Family guy, Jungle Book, Cinderella, that kind of stuff? I have a degree in animation. I’ve watched and studied cartoons my whole life. Me: Uh, yeah. Client: Well, they all have good design, so work on making this character stand out. Me: Okay, well I can work on that. Talk to you later. They called me 5 minutes later on their personal phone. Client: Just to let you know, don’t get tense about it, but you came off as a bit snippy with me, like I’m wasting your time or something. Me : …Oh, I apologize, I didn’t mean to come off that way- Client: Well you probably didn’t realize, you need to work on that if you want to continue being a team leader. Talk to you Monday. Why is it always people on the lower end of the stick who have to grow thicker skins? I guess “uh, yeah, I know the most basic touchstones of my discipline” was enough to bruise this ego. Sep 16, 2020 0 Kyle Carpenter If it’s good enough for Microsoft, it’s good enough for me! I’m doing a print layout the a 350-page book for a family member, who didn’t listen when I said repeatedly InDesign will do all the formatting, and tried to make everything perfect in MS Word first. About 20 hours in, reviewing the draft PDF I handed over to check for typos… Client: The images are in different places. I put in extra spaces and stuff to make them line up, but you took out the tabs in front of the paragraphs. Me: If you want first line indents, I can change that easily. But please don’t worry about the formatting right now, I’m not done. Client: But the page numbers are going to be different… Me: (joking) Well, if you want it to look just like the Word docs, I can just print those to pdf and collate them. Client: Would you? I kind of thought that was what you were going to do. Sep 16, 2020 0 Kyle Carpenter Never stop starting: Personal Trainer Adam Bradley on how Creatives can stay healthy Working from home is the new reality, and with it comes a very, VERY sedentary lifestyle. Without having to leave your house to do anything, it's easy to fall out of fitness and into new health problems. Personal trainer Adam Bradley works with artists and creative workers one-on-one, offering personal consultations about how to keep in shape in ways that work for you. In today's episode offers host Kyle Carpenter some tips about how to stay healthy while working from home, and his philosophy of why exercise shouldn't be a shame-based chore. Today's links: https://www.adambradleytrainer.com Theme song by topmen.bandcamp.com ! Want to support the show? Think you'd be a great fit for the show? Let me know at twitter.com/KCarCFH Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or recommend us to a friend. It helps immensely. Sep 15, 2020 0 Kyle Carpenter I was tasked with adding links to a clients’ eBlast newsletter. Client: My assistant Linda sent the email back to me, the link isn’t working and we really need to get this message out! Me: What happened? As long as she didn’t edit that part of the letter it should be fine. Send it back to me and I’ll check it. Client: The only thing I see that’s different is the president’s signature was added. But, the link definitely doesn’t work. I get the email and immediately see the problem. The entire letter is now an image! Linda had to have copied the message body into a Word document so she could print it out and get the president’s signature. She then scanned the signed letter and inserted it into an email as a picture. The text that was supposed to be linked still appeared in underlined blue but was no longer clickable. Sep 15, 2020 0 Kyle Carpenter Client: We know a designer could’ve created a montage, but we want you to photograph this because we want the images to be real and not Photoshop-ed. After I took the photos: Client: Can you take this bit of image A, and Photoshop it onto image B; paint out the background, change the color of the logo…. Sep 15, 2020 0 Kyle Carpenter Medium difficulty Client: I was kind of hoping that I may have had the proofs by now. A psychic medium client on day two of a three-day turnaround. Either they have unreasonably high expectations or they got their prediction wrong. Either way, terrible medium-ship. Sep 15, 2020 0 Kyle Carpenter I work remotely as part of a web team for the marketing department of a large company. My clients are all internal, submitting requests for website updates for their departments via a help desk ticket system. However, there are some departments that are able to publish directly to the website using specialty applications. Human Resources is one such department, they have the ability to publish job postings on the website themselves. I’m the person who trains departments to use these applications. A new HR recruiter was hired. A week in, she was trained to publish job postings. Three weeks later… Client: Can you walk me through how to publish jobs again? I really need to get some out there today, other departments have been waiting. Me: Unfortunately, I’m not available today. I have a day stacked with meetings but if you want to submit whatever is urgent via a ticket, I should be able to do them later in the day. Then we can schedule training sometime in the next few days and do the others together. HR lady agrees to this and then sends me 2 emails with a total of FIVE jobs attached. Sigh. Okay, she’s new so I create tickets for her between meetings. At the end of the day, I tackle the tickets and publish the jobs. In closing one of the tickets, I wrote a note to her: Me: Please note that I revised the wording in this position so that it follows o...